Babel’s War

[ and The Ship of Fools ... ]

Translated from https://bam.news/opinions/tribune/babel-war

At a time when Europe is brandishing the threat of imminent conflict to justify all-out remilitarization, Watson pens a scathing post, blending biting irony and sincere concern. He debunks the fantasies of a unified European army, evoking the absurdity of our leaders' martial rhetoric.

What if we chose peace rather than sending our youth to the front and devoting colossal resources that would have to be diverted elsewhere?

1. Introduction

Our European governments, led by the European Commission, have recently been gripped by a warlike obsession, spreading like wildfire the idea that our countries were in grave danger and that the Russians (yes, them again) were likely to invade us shortly. We could already hear, in their deep voices, the tracks of tanks crushing women and children in our blood-soaked countryside.

Hence the urgent need to devote a good portion of our hard-earned (and heavily taxed) money to developing a war machine capable of resisting these bloodthirsty invaders, and to do so urgently (while knowing that it would take us ten years to make up for lost time). The long-abandoned production of tanks, planes, weapons, cruisers and various submarines had to resume as quickly as possible, or face unconditional surrender. And of course, let's not forget the drones, since these little snoopers have become indispensable to any well-conducted attack.

All this in the context of an “old-fashioned” war, of course: “air/land/sea”, in which young people give their lives, with a smile and a sense of duty accomplished, in the mud and blood of the trenches.

A nuclear war is not even conceivable, you think: 1, 2, 3 suns and it's over... For everyone, including our dear leaders who could not, at this moment, slip into the skin of little cheap Churchills and give long warlike speeches, gazing into the distance, to their populace on the verge of starvation and deprived of Netflix. No, that's not right! They must survive to rebuild the world after the apocalypse! It is their great destiny!

In short, let's eliminate nuclear war.

Then, after this re-industrialization completely focused on armaments and therefore on equipment, you need arms to take the assault rifle in hand and shoot the bad guy in front of you... And as precisely as possible otherwise you will be the bad guy in front of you.

The professional armies that today constitute our bulwark and our capacity for intervention abroad do not have enough men to contain a powerful invader on a vast front. We will therefore have to resort to good old conscription: “Enlist, re-enlist. Come and die for your country… Uh yes, the one that taxes you like oxen, lies to you and doesn’t give you much in return… Yes, yes… That very one… Come on guys, sacrifice yourselves…”

What will the recruiting sergeants possibly say to invite young people of all stripes to give their lives? The promise of the rapid return of Tik-Tok and Instagram? I'm not making fun of this young generation, quite the opposite: they have other things to do than die for the glory of paranoid, narcissistic, and egocentric leaders, who weren't able to offer them great destinies and beautiful projects during the peace period...

So we'll need a basketful of hicks to offer this dear homeland practically free cannon fodder. Come on, three months of training and go get riddled with bullets and shrapnel at the bottom of a godforsaken hole... To gain a few meters of ravaged land where nothing grows anymore and where all life has already disappeared. This is the true destiny we will offer to your sons, your daughters, your brothers, your sisters, your friends... War, in other words.

2. What no one talks about

At least to my knowledge... And yet what literally jumps out at me: the language problem!

All national armies speak their native language: nothing more normal... So everything is simple: the orders, the innuendos, the messages...

As far as I know, Europe is not yet (and perhaps never will be) a nation. It is a kaleidoscope of 27 countries speaking 24, often very different, languages!

And we want to make it ONE and only one army. How will it communicate?

It is obvious that professional armies speak English fluently, chosen not because of the number of native speakers but because NATO is what it is, led by the Americans and the equipment, therefore the manuals and other instructions/programming are written in this language which has become universal… A sort of Esperanto without its philosophy. And spoken, in any case, by officers down to non-commissioned officers (in principle only).

As a result, operations conducted within strict frameworks where each nation has a very specific role to play do not pose any major problems. We are among "pros"!

But think about an old-fashioned war, on the ground where thousands of guys are carrying out an assault, a battle, or even a retreat together... Thousands of young people from all backgrounds, cultures, and different levels will have to coordinate, support, protect, and save each other?

Let's assume that after three months of instruction, they have all acquired a basic knowledge of English (why English in this case, by the way: only the Irish are native speakers)... I'd still like to hear it. A simple basic knowledge, so young people incapable of understanding or interpreting a slightly complex order! First problem.

Then let's admit once again (I feel like I'm in Jean-Marie Bigard's bat sketch) that they are all capable of understanding English quite well... There remains the problem of accents!!!

Imagine for a moment the hell of a battle: bullets whizz by, shells fall, planes fly low, unleashing their missiles and machine guns, drones whir from all sides, you are covered in mud, you are scared like never before, your friend is spilling his guts next to you, screaming... And on a crackling radio, a Polish captain gives you an order, an Italian redneck from a southern town, with his strong Slavic accent... In this din, in this hell, do you think everything will be clear? And your answer with your Italian accent to this Pole you have never seen, do you think he will understand it? The same can be said of a Swede and a Portuguese, a Frenchman and a Croatian, etc.

Imagine for a moment the carnage that will ensue! On all levels and for no reason!

Memory of 14-18 (you know the "war to end all wars" whose promise only lasted 22 years): some Flemish people still blame today's French speakers for having caused more Flemish deaths in the trenches because orders were given in French by mostly French-speaking officers and the Flemish didn't understand them. One example among others. Because I'm not sure that at the same time, a very "British" officer was understood by the Scottish redneck in the din and cries of pain on the battlefield. Luckily, the whistle already existed...

Some will mention current methods, simultaneous translations, artificial intelligence that will solve all that... So yes, in a living room, relaxing between two TV series, but in the hell of combat, everything must be instantaneous, every second counts and even with simultaneous translations, it won't work. I'm sure of it. And in any case, there remains the immediate understanding of an instruction in a language spoken with a strong accent that the digital translator risks misinterpreting! Not to mention the state of the networks!

As for the separation of tasks, as they are practiced in interventions by professional soldiers where the functions are distributed by country: some are mainly in charge of logistics, others of transport, still others of patrols etc. This distribution, in the context of a generalized and global conflict, the one that we are being told about and which I personally do not believe for a single instant, this distribution will be practically impossible, on the immensity and complexity of such a front.

So, for me, the fantasy of an effective European army in the context of a hard, head-on conflict seems as far from reality as nuclear war which would wipe out almost all forms of life on the planet... So much the better for the ants and the scorpions: they won't be able to do any worse than us.

All this is being done just to scare us. Just to save the skin of incompetent politicians, incapable of managing their nations. Just for the pride of a peroxided Valkyrie and her henchmen… No thanks. Especially since, believe me, their children, husbands, sisters, brothers, and friends will be hidden away and exempt from sacrificing to a non-existent homeland.

3. Only solution: PEACE.

Rather than marching along with this programmed absurdity, let's revolt, rise up, and together put all the pressure we need to say NO: no to war, no to useless sacrifices, no to death. The means exist through stopping our taxes, our refusal to vote, or our refusal to submit to inept regulations... Since petitions and demonstrations are useless. I pity those who haven't noticed this yet.

Let us come together to resist these warmongers who have never even held a water pistol in their hands and who believe they are in a video game in which they are the heroes. Let us demand that they find peaceful solutions, that they finally have the dignity and strength to impose themselves on the world with intelligence, vision, and honesty.

Fed up with the schemes and the little games between enemies. We pay them dearly every month to be efficient and ensure our well-being, not to send half of our youth to their deaths!

The means of pressure exist if they are intelligent and if everyone plays the game, not like in recent times when everything continued "on the sly" by putting particular interests at the expense of a just sanction proclaimed but never applied.

What happened to diplomacy, agreements, and reasonable accommodations? Far from these clownish gesticulations that have brought us to our knees more than our adversaries (if they exist at all - we have not yet been attacked, I should point out). Where are our dark forces that would allow us to wage a powerful computer battle with high-flying hackers who would make our enemies tremble without shedding a drop of blood? Oh yes, I forgot, they have all fled abroad to escape our ridiculous regulations and microscopic salaries, but taxed ad libitum!

In short, if we do not move NOW and stand up against these hidden internal forces that want to sacrifice us for their own profit and survival, well then, it is our young people who will perish in the hell of a fight that will end anyway around a table one day or another in the hushed calm of circles that have lost nothing.

All we will have left are tears, traumatized youth and a devastated world...

Make your choice !

Watson, March 22, 2025